Secret Glances
by Tadpole24
Summary: He’d always thought she was beautiful, he’d told her on several occasions in many differing manners. In her unawares though, she was breathtaking. BB Season 5


**I've been out of the game for a while and it's killing me. I know a month doesn't seem that long, but believe me, it is when all you can think about is writing. Lol. Slight addiction, I will admit. **

**This is a little Christmassy, but not really...**

**Disclaimer: I know, I know, seeing as I have been gone for a while, you all thought I'd moved in with the Bones crew, but alas, I just have limited internet access. No Bones ownership for me at all. **

**Enjoy.**

..:::..

Secret Glances

..:::..

He knew he was going to get caught, but he couldn't help but keep on doing it.

He loved the way she looked when she didn't know anyone was watching her. Her face held a different light then, it was as though she didn't have to live up to anything that anyone expected. As soon as she turned and faced someone or addressed them directly, she knew that her walls had to be in place and she had a certain image to portray.

He'd always thought she was beautiful, he'd told her on several occasions in many differing manners. In her unawares though, she was breathtaking. That was something he was unsure he'd ever be able to tell her.

He watched her carefully through hidden sneaking glances. His eyes had become adept at peering longingly at her through hooded lids and quickly turning away as soon as she thought she noticed that he was looking at her. His practised movements meant that she never actually caught him in the act. But he knew it was only a matter of time.

They sat close at the Christmas dinner, holding hands in a moment of silence at the table. He snuck a quick glance around the full table to make sure no eyes were on him, when his safety was assured he cracked both eyes open to stare at his beautiful partner. He knew it was almost creepy the way he would watch her, but he just couldn't contain it. It had been a long time now since he had freely admitted to himself, and a few close confidants, that he was in love with her and yet it always came as a shock just how hard it hit him when he watched her in one of these moments.

Especially this moment.

Her hair was specially curled for the occasion and her makeup was precision applied. He loved her natural beauty and noticed that apart from some mascara and lipstick her face was barely touched. He watched carefully as she smiled in the silence and he made a mental note to go to confession tomorrow and gain amends from not saying Grace before Christmas dinner. He watched her eyes flutter slightly and forgot all about his last thought, choosing to keep his watching a secret and closing his eyes, just as she opened hers.

"Let's eat."

He opened his eyes again and blinked a few times to make it convincing. She'd already put her walls up again and he'd be lying if he didn't say he was disappointed, but then she smiled at him and gestured towards his food in an unmistakable sign for 'eat'. He always knew that she and he had a different relationship to what she did with mostly everybody else, but it was only then, sitting at her dinner table, that he realised her walls came crumbling down around him. She was stripped bare to the soul when she was around him.

His heart swelled and he smiled at her as she ate and watched her guests. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt happier.

..:::..

It wasn't until after New Year's that Booth had seen his partner again. He had seen her at work and seen her around people, but it wasn't until January 4th that he really got to _see_ her.

He craved her, he realised on about the 2nd. It wasn't a want to see her, but a deep seeded _need_. He'd watched her work on their case diligently; her walls in place, her smile mechanic and tinged with sadness. To the outside word she looked as beautiful as ever, but to Booth, being as close to her as he was, he knew that she wasn't being herself.

He'd had to wait until the 4th though. They had closed their case, filed all their paperwork and were sitting on the couch in her office with wine in hand and Thai food littering her table.

A soft glow was cast around the room due to the bright colours of her walls and the dimmed setting of the light. Everything was silent outside; everyone having long gone home.

She had her head resting against the back of her couch, her feet were up on the table and her eyes were closed to the world. Booth watched her with his eyes half closed, ready to fully close them if she stirred. A small smile played across her face and she turned to him, her eyes, suddenly, shockingly bright.

"Why do you watch me?"

Booth was shocked by her question. _She knew?_ He quickly closed his eyes and rolled his head so that his face was looking at the ceiling and no longer at her. At his quick movements he heard a subtle laugh. A thing of beauty. He smiled at the wondrous sound of his partner catching him in his lie.

"Really, Booth. Why?"

He opened his eyes and turned his head toward her once again.

He was struck by her open sincerity; he couldn't honestly believe how beautiful she looked right in that moment. And it was because of this beauty that he was dumbfounded and speechless. She was still looking at him quizzically, expecting him to answer her question.

When he finally found his words he couldn't censor them before they came out, "Because I love you."

He saw the walls almost immediately go up and was saddened beyond any grief he had ever felt in his life. He turned his whole body toward her and reached out to take her hands. She stiffened and he thought to himself that he needed to fix this more than anything.

"I'm sorry I said it so bluntly. I just couldn't stop it."

Before he could continue though, she had squeezed his hands, letting him know that she was the one who needed to speak, "Just please," he recognised begging when he saw it and focussed on her wholly, "Please, don't take it back."

It took a moment for his mind to catch up with her words and by the time he did, she had leant impossibly close to him. He savoured it for a split second, taking in her unguarded features, her stunning blue eyes and auburn curls. His eyes glanced at her lips and then he felt them.

He'd always kissed with his eyes closed, it was just the natural thing, but this time, during this kiss, he wanted to see it all. He opened his eyes just slightly to watch the way her face moved against his. He loved the way her eyes were scrunched tight as though if she opened them, this would all go away. He saw and felt everything she was pushing towards him. He tasted wine and strawberries, a combination he knew he'd never be able to go without again. The whole experience heightened by the mere fact that he could _see_ her. He wished he could convey to her how beautiful she was. Just as he was about the close his eyes again, she pulled back and he felt lost.

She smiled one of her smiles with no defences in place and told him with a laugh to stop watching her and just kiss her.

He grinned back and pulled her in again. His eyes closed this time.

At least for now.

..:::..

**I thought my New Year's Resolution might be to stop begging you lovely people for reviews, but I just couldn't do it. Please review. :) I'll love you forever. **

**xx**


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